Obituary of Shirley Anne Schaffland

84 years well lived and loved Shirley was both the spirit of the Canadian West and the heritage of the East in one tiny woman; a pioneer in many ways and always willing to “paddle her own canoe” when the going was tough. Born in Lion’s Head, Ontario to the proud farming family of John and Catherine McLay, Shirley was the 5th child of 7, the 1st of 2 girls and always had the toughness of her Scottish-Canadian background (who pioneered the area from 1874) and large and wonderful family to back up her convictions. As the first girl after four boys, she was doted on and had a very special place in the family. Sadly, her older brothers, Emerson, Milton, Alex and Bruce have all passed, but not before they laughed at, and with, the world, for 70+ years each – except for Milton who died too young and bravely as part of a RAF Bomber Group that down over Europe in World War II. Shirley’s ex-husband Hans-Guenter (Fred) who she married in 1958, died in 2002. Shirley leaves behind beloved younger siblings: sister Doris (Murray), brother Wallace (Rhonda), sister-in-law Ruth (wife of Alex) plus 14 nieces and nephews, two children: Roger and Anna-Marie (Brad). A dear friend of Roger, Sam González, held a very special place in her heart as well. Growing up on the rural Bruce Peninsula in a large, loving, family just after the depression gave her many of the skills she would later need as a nurse and mother. In those early days, women had few career choices, but Shirley was determined to have one and she set her heart and mind on nursing. She joined a group of the finest people to ever walk the earth when she graduated as a Registered Nurse from the Owen Sound General and Marine Hospital in 1950 and it would set her canoe course for the next 40+ years. She gave her life’s service to the profession of helping others and she was always proudly displaying the black & white photograph showing her in the nun-inspired, starched, white, cap with the black ribbon. These nurses became her life-long friends and their visits, cards and their get togethers were precious to her. Shirley’s decision to become a nurse made her “Papa” very proud as she was following in the footsteps of an older nurse in the family (her cousin Mildred). She followed her brother Bruce out west to Calgary in 1956 and decided to stay in the cowtown that was so rustic and charming; it was the Calgary Stampede that impressed her the most and she was offered a job on the spot after meeting with the head nurse at the General Hospital. She would later work at the Holy Cross Hospital for 30+ years until it closed (and she subsequently retired). After telling her family she was going to make a go of it out West, finding a place to live was the next most immediate challenge. “In those days” unmarried, young women without families went to rooming houses with an ever-watchful land-lady who ensured moralities were followed “to a T”, and it was close to the hospital. As the girls sunbathed in the back yard, Shirley caught the eye of a young, German immigrant, door-to-door, salesman and he made as direct an approach as could be made under the vigilance of the stern land-lady. As the court-ship continued, Shirley fell in love (especially with his dancing) and it was time for her to introduce him to her family. A family marriage to a fellow who fought for the Germans was difficult after losing Milton to the war only a few years earlier. Shirley would not be deterred however; her canoe was set on this course and she married Fred in 1958 Unfortunately, her marriage wasn’t a very happy one but it gave her two wonderful children and she never remarried after their divorce in 1976. There were only a handful of real “dates” in all the later years, but no one could dance like Fred. Shirley’s pride and joy were her two children Roger (now in New York) and Anna-Marie (now in Vancouver). She loved them unconditionally and with all her heart, struggling as a single mother with two young children, paying single-handedly for everything and having all the challenges of smart, good-looking kids. She worked night shifts (which paid more) and also let her be at home in a basement suite (which cost less), for her children in the daytime. Her routine (painfully long days) was to be a frugal home maker all day, then put Roger and Anna to bed and take an 10PM bus (not a canoe!) to the hospital, leaving the children with prayers to be well, work all night, and get back in the morning before they would wake up. She relied on wonderful neighbors like Roellie Dekker and her older children to be “on call” if there were emergencies which worked out well for the most part until a flood ruined the whole basement one year and the time a wild deer crashed through the window and wrecked the place - as if she didn’t already have enough challenges! Shirley never learned to drive (her older brothers tried to teach her but the wood-pile at the end of the road got in the way and she never tried again). In the early days of parenthood in Calgary, that meant walking miles to get anywhere, often carrying one or both children plus groceries – sometimes in deep snow. Saving up and bringing her kids for summer vacation to be with her sister and brothers’ families on the Bruce Peninsula was the highlight every year it could happen. The amount of laughing at those get togethers was only outdone by the number of pies brought to pot-luck style meals together. On those visits, surrounded by family, she was asked many times if she would like to move back home, but no, she chose to stay in the West and persevere. On those nights in Calgary when Shirley was tired, and feeling alone, with all the bills, the cold/stormy weather, no car, and she was leaving her children alone again, those must have been the worst; the “canoe” must have felt close to sinking so many times but she powered on. Having the friendship of the Barlow family (Charles, Gerry, Chuck, David and Cheryl), especially during the kid’s teenage years can never be truly appreciated enough. While crossing the street in 1974, she was hit and almost killed by a turning truck but managed to hang on to the grill for half a city block, until someone alerted the driver he had hit someone. How she survived, nobody can know but she later said “I had to hang on for my kids”. Shirley and her canoe were broken and battered; arms, leg and pelvis crushed, but she fought to come back. Her friends and family came to her aid (financially and emotionally) and she returned to nursing and to being a mother again sooner than anyone expected. After more struggling years, and a controversial nursing strike that she was a spokesperson for, Shirley saw Roger through University (University of Calgary Mechanical Engineering), and was so happy when Anna met and married Bradley Stewart - just like in those National Geographic shows when the commentator starts to describe the treacherous river course and how everyone finally breathes a sigh of relief when all the dangers have been successfully navigated (with a few scrapes). One of the joys of Shirley’s life was to put on Anna’s wedding, bringing her family from the East (some for the first time!) to meet her friends and family in the West; Brad Stewart and his wonderful family (Bill, Lorraine, Drew and Leah) would prove to be an enduring source of strength and happiness. Many family members from the East also came out West over time and made her feel more at home. Ian Hellyer stayed with Shirley and kids for a while and “Our Linda”, as she would call Linda Schafer, was always supportive and made sure they had time together and enjoyed the fanciest annual company dinner/party each Christmas. When her kids moved away and wound up on either side of the continent (Roger in NYC and Anna Marie in Vancouver) Shirley stayed nursing in Calgary; the canoe was now thankfully a lot lighter and a bit freer for a few years. Shirley was famous for her Sunday chicken and wine dinners and loved to spend time with Tony & both Davids, Darlene & Andy, Julian & Ross, Ute & Katherine and Chuck. Shirley never liked cell phones, air-conditioning or computers; but she did like music, the Christmas season, endlessly re-reading Anne of Green Gables, the sound advice of Dear Abby and Anne Landers, The Calgary Flames, car trips to go for ice cream in Cochrane, hot springs swimming at Banff or Radium, Canadian figure skating, the livestock barns at the Calgary Stampede, spending hours on a Saturday afternoon at the Calgary Zoo, Garry’s annual New Year’s phone call, bagpipes, The Lawrence Welk Show and, of course, paddling her own canoe. She also liked to complain about Roger’s weight and Anna’s hair colour and about all the flowers from Chuck, Brenda and Julian – somehow being the subject of one of Shirley’s complaints meant, in some strange way, that you were being loved by her. Her nursing friends are too numerous to mention and there are many more neighbors who lent her aid in her hours of need than can be thanked as much as they deserve. Shirley was raised in a religious home, schooled by nuns and always thought of an afterlife as a wonderful reward. Her friend, Michael-Paul Senkow was ever a source of spiritual comfort to her and she always enjoyed speaking to him. Shirley’s health gradually declined over the last ten years so her later years were spent well-cared for first at Whitehorn Village, and then at Brentwood Village, plus the wonderful support by Granddaughters of Calgary and all the doctors and clinics. The nurses and staff everywhere became acquainted with her nursing background and paid back all the years of care she had given to others. Shirley had just celebrated her 84th birthday on October 10 with some of her family and friends for a fun evening and then shortly afterward, her wonderful heart, which had always refused to give up, was finally done and her paddling was over on October 31, 2014. In summary, she didn’t have much, but she was happy to give it all to those who needed it; she was loved, and lived long enough to see her dreams come true. She liked to copy her brother Bruce by saying “I don’t have any enemies, just friends I haven’t met yet” - truer words were never spoken and her canoe has reached safe harbor at last. A graveside funeral tribute service will be held to honour Shirley’s life at the Eastnor Cemetery, Lion’s Head on Saturday, August 15, 2015 at 11:00 a.m. Arrangements entrusted to the GEORGE FUNERAL HOME, LION’S HEAD CHAPEL, Lion’s Head. Expressions of remembrance to the charity of your choice would be appreciated. Messages of condolence are welcome at www.georgefuneralhome.com